Do you wish God kept your father a little bit longer?Before
Nko, but his time was up and he had to answer the call. He lived a good
life. He was outstanding, totally different and I am so very proud that
he was my father. Even though in the beginning I rebelled against all
he stood for, it all eventually caught up with me. As I matured over
the years, I found out that he had done me so much good. For sure I’m
going to miss him like mad, but I have wonderful memories to tie me
over.
What
does your tradition expect of you from now till your dad is buried? Are
you to stay indoors 40days? Cut your hair? What is now expected of you,
or any other member of the male/female Oputas?I
am not too knowledgeable about the traditional aspect, my relatives in
the village have not told me about any specific things I should do. For
now, all I am doing is planning and receiving guests who come to
sympathise with the family. My father will first be buried as a
Christian and a Knight in the church. He holds the title of (Odua) the
oldest man in the village. Tradition says, he will require a second
burial a year after the first, that’s the much I know. I shaved my hair
way before he passed on, he loved my new look.
At
the point when you wrote the prayer request letter for your dad, did
you harbour any fears that your father may be spending his last days on
earth?He was in the
village when he was hit by stroke on the 14th of February, 2014. At
about 3:30pm, I got a call from one of his aids informing me of what had
happened. It was a Friday; one of my daughters had just come back from
the US a few days before. So, I sent her and my brother immediately to
Owerri to assess the situation till I got myself together and arrived on
Monday. My brother, I didn’t sleep from Friday to Monday morning. I was
in a trance, the worse seized my mind. I cried when I was alone, in my
household it was as if he had already passed, my father had never been
sick, ever! It was the most painful time in my life; the thought of
losing my father, my best friend was too much to deal with. But typical
me, by Monday as I headed to the airport to catch the flight to Owerri, I
was mentally ready for the worst. By the time I saw my father in the
hospital, I was devastated, it took all the courage to hold back the
tears. Then I knew it was down hill from there. I knew it was a matter
of time, but I was ever determined to do all I could for my best friend.
Since childhood I have always had that sharp instinct, intuition or
premonition about things and people. I should have been dead long time
ago, living the kind of life I had lived, but I have survived because of
this gift from God.
Seeing him helpless those harrowing weeks, what went on in your mind?A
lot of pain. Ever since I can remember, I have never seen my father
down. I have never seen him sick. I prayed that God shouldn’t let him
suffer one bit. I couldn’t stand the fact that we could no longer have
the kind of robust discussions we used to have. Most of the time he was
quiet, and I will always wonder what’s going through his mind. God has
been kind to our family, He made his passage peaceful and I am thankful.
Were you beside your father when he spent his last moments on earth? He
died in my house, too bad it wasn’t in my arms. After the hospital
stabilised him, we were advised by the doctors to take him home and give
him the care he needed to nurse him back to life. But I knew that age
was not on his side. My father was over 96years. On Sunday the 4th of
May 2014, I went down to his quarters to see him. He had not been eating
properly. As I went on my usual round to see him and crack a few jokes
before I go do my thing, I noticed he was unusually weak. As soon as I
entered his room, he beckoned on me to come. I bent over to kiss his
forehead and he said to me “Am sorry Charles”.
Why did he say that? Did he regret not being there for you when you really needed him?I
asked him why he was sorry. I couldn’t imagine that with his state of
health, all my father was thinking about was all the money I was
spending to give him the best care and the love I showered on him. He
was worrying about me? Hummmm. At that point I just laughed and said to
him, “daddy, get well soon so that I won’t send you a bill you cannot
pay”. I asked the nurse to give him his bath, while I go and do same and
come back to feed him myself. I was just getting dressed after my bath
when the nurse called me to say I should come down quickly. At that
point I knew what I have been getting myself ready for, has finally
happened. I thank God that I not only spent quality time with him, we
became almost inseparable.
What were his last words before he passed on?‘I’m
sorry Charles’. I had just left his side about an hour to have my
shower when I heard the man had given up. I rushed back to where he was
and found him dead. He had prepared my mind for this few weeks before
his death when he told me to stop spending money on his health; he was
literally telling me his time was up. I told him I wasn’t complaining
about it, why should he be bothered about it, but his response was just
Charles, I am sorry.
While
he was still bedridden, was he still concerned about the many troubles
and challenges the common man on the streets and our country Nigeria is
facing?Trust him, he was
always thinking about other people more than himself. I guess that’s
where I got that from too. I remember our most recent discussion after
the bombing that killed a lot of innocent people in Nyanya. As we were
watching the news together, I asked him, “why are we the way we are”. I
can’t forget his profound answer.”Most Nigerians are incapable of deep
thoughts”. He always complained about how bad things were getting and
why we couldn’t seem to get it together. His comfort was in all the
advocacy work I did, trying to add value to my environment and all I
have been trying to do for and with the frustrated Nigerian youths. Most
of the time he had come to many of my functions and workshops. That’s
one reason he had a lot of respect for what I represented. I guess in a
round about way, he wished he was me, craving for the opportunity to
change his environment. He was all the time troubled about the state of
the nation.
Tell us about the concert you plan to stage for your late father?My
father without a doubt was a great man. He’s the last of the Titans.
When people who come to see me and say sorry to me, I correct them by
demanding they say congrats to me. Here is a man who has led a good
life, who stood for justice especially for the common man, who stuck to
one wife for over 70yrs. I’m having Nollywood come down to Oguta, the
cream of Nigerian musicians, The Hard Riders Biker Club from Port
Harcourt, Nigerians will be there. I expect Daddy Showkey, Felix Duke,
TerryG, Dr Alban, Davido, Duncan Mighty, Indeed it will be a grand
celebration of a damn good life. People go bow, dem go hear am.
What really is the essence behind the concert? Is it basically to celebrate the life and times of your father?Haba!
Don’t you think I should celebrate this great man? You know we
Nigerians too dey forget people wey dey try for our country. I will
never let Nigerians forget my father’s contributions to this country
especially in the judiciary. Nigerians go hear am. In short, it will be a
carnival.
Aside the concert, do you have any other plans to immortalise him?Yes,
I pray that the Federal Government gets it right this time. He deserves
to be immortalised. For me CharlyBoy, in my own crazy ways and unusual
approach, you can be sure that I will make my father live forever. You
watch!
So when is the burial taking place?Full
preparations will begin next week. You know the world will be coming to
the burial so we have to plan very well so that we don’t disappoint our
guests. Secondly, because of the nature of things now, I won’t reveal
much but I am sure he will be buried by the end of next month (June).
In
your own opinion, do you think the Oputa panel headed by your father
and set up by Obasanjo to look into human rights cases during the
military era really served its purpose?Your
guess is as good as mine. How could it have served any purpose when it
was tossed under the bed. I don’t just get it. It’s like sending someone
on a wild goose chase. But, I have a different mindset about it all. It
was the Truth and Reconciliation panel and in a round-about way, it
opened our eyes to all the atrocities of the past. It got people
talking, which was a good thing.
What will you miss most about him?I
will actually miss a lot of things about him. I don’t know if you can
get it if you have never been there. I loved my father to bits, he was
like my hero. He dared to be different like me; he was like no other,
like me. I will miss our regular evening provoking conversations, when
he would come over to my part of the house, as I serve him his small
stout while I drink my coke and we would talk endlessly about many
things under the sun. I will miss his company especially all the times
he accompanied me to different shows. Full of wisecracks, he made life’s
journey so simple and uncomplicated, he exemplified the significance of
life. Head or tail, I know he indisputably deserves the heavenly gift
of paradise.
Did you in any way use his name to open doors that sometimes proved difficult?As
Charly Boy, there was never a time any door or doors proved difficult
for me. Half of my contacts and the people I know, my father could never
have known. From the day he was made a judge, my father lived a
secluded life, he didn’t socialise much and never asked anybody for a
favour. The respect he has for me before he died was as a result that I
didn’t need him for anything what so ever. After he retired as a judge
90percent of the outings he did was with me. All the comedy shows that
happened in the past eight years in Abuja, he attended them with me. He
loved going out with me and getting involved with my work. Even at his
age, I had several times taken him on bike rides. I know there are a lot
of people out there who wouldn’t want to still give me credit, but
that’s not for me to worry about. Charlyboy has opened doors my late
father couldn’t open, period.
How do you feel being fatherless?I
have joined the club of the fatherless people. I hope that one day they
will make me their president. If you know how close we became, you will
feel very sorry for me. But I’m up to the challenge. Now I have my
mother to concentrate on. She was my first love anyway before my father
got into my good books. So, all the love and care will be transferred to
her full time. Thank God I’m not an orphan yet, that would have been a
serious problem.
What are those fine qualities you inherited from your father?We
stood for justice especially for the common man. We were both deep
thinkers. We are both men who are content and at peace with self. We are
both committed to changing our environment. We love our wives dearly,
my father till his death spent over 70yrs with the same woman, I have
spent 37yrs still counting. We have strong love for our family and
always very protective. My father wasn’t phased with or by material
things, same here. We love to read and learn. When we were younger we
both used to be such flirts. We both believe in one man one woman. We
both are very spiritual beings.
What kind of life did your father live?My
Daddy worked hard all his life. He was devoted to his family and
friends. A man so sure and steady that you thought he’d be around
forever. My hero never fought in a war, he was not worldly, he never
felt the need to search the world for bounty, never drove fancy cars,
but he lived his life by the golden rule. Never had much money, but he
had the respect of all his friends, associates, even people who did not
like him as a firm person.
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